thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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