Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
