I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
and you said cock pushups were impossible
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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