dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Can you bring me the toilet please
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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