Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
