considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
