I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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