No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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