the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
