Its about making memories worth repressing
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
