"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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