Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Found your dick twin last night
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize