wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
