Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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