her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
