I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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