Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
