well most of my day revolves around power hour
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize