found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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