I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
