It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize