yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He shit in the fireplace
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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