this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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