How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize