So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Randomize
