i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
