He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
