So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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