Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
