If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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