We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
