i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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