its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
