you guys were way drunker than both of me
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
