addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
