The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
