i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
