There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
