Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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