Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
