there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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