I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
