Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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