i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
