just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
