Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Sober January is a disaster.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
