WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize