i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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