I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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