I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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