FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't deserve a penis
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
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