There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
