Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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