Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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