so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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