So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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