while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
