How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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